Want More Stress In Your Life? Try Parenting A Teenager
World News ![]() That's how Amy Myers felt. She teaches high school English in a suburb of Boise, Idaho, where she says she has "pseudo parented" about 3,000 teenagers "who I have talked to, given advice to, guided, directed, even lectured about teenage issues," she says. So Myers, 41, felt pretty prepared for her own children's teenage years. That is until her oldest son, Kamron, turned 15. Suddenly, their close relationship turned sour. "Everything I demanded, he fought back. Advice? He didn't need it. Conversation? He didn't want it. It was hands down the toughest journey of my life so far, and that is coming from someone who has raised two children alone from day one and has worked for and earned two degrees," she says. NPR recently conducted a poll with our partners at the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation and the Harvard School of Public Health looking at the extent of stress in America. We found that about one third (34 percent) of those who live with one or more teenagers said they'd had a great deal of stress in the past month. Once we saw these results, we wanted to know more about the stories behind these numbers. So we put out a call on NPR's Facebook page. Hundreds of parents wrote to us. From Marion, Iowa, Ann Brendes, 48, who has two sons, 15 and 17, and a daughter, 11, writes that it's "mind-blowing how stressful having teenagers is." JoAnn Zeise, who's raising a 14-year-old son and a 12-year-old daughter, says the stress she feels now is a lot different than what she felt when the kids were young. "Once, I controlled the big decisions in their life," says Zeise, 39, who lives in Columbia, S.C. "Now they make decisions that can have drastic consequences. I feel like I am running out of time to teach them the important lessons they need," she writes. When it comes to stress, parenting a teen is "inherently stressful even in the best scenarios," according to David Palmiter, a clinical psychologist, professor at Marywood University in Scranton, Penn., and creator of the blog Hectic Parents.com. He says it essentially boils down to a teenager's quest for independence. And that is understandably stressful for parents who used to be "driving the bus," he says. But now, he says, there's someone in the back seat saying (or yelling) "No, don't put the blinker on here, take that exit, what are you thinking?" This constant questioning and challenging can be stressful for parents, of course, but Palmiter says it's actually a healthy part of growing up, and it often means parents are doing everything right. Amy Myers' son Kamron is 18 now, and headed off to college. But the past three years, she says, have been extremely stressful for a number of reasons. She worried about his driving, about parties, about alcohol and drugs. And there were many late nights for Myers because, like many parents, she just couldn't fall asleep until she knew Kamron was safely home. And like JoAnn Zeise, her biggest worries even now continue to be about her child's future. She's scared that Kamron might make a mistake that just can't be repaired. As for dealing with their own stress, Palmiter suggests parents seek support from other parents, not just about their concerns but also about decisions. He also promotes special "one on one" time with your teenager. This means "being there" completely, cell phone unplugged, talking with your teen or observing them do an activity they enjoy like drawing, shooting basketball or playing an instrument. Just one hour a week of this special time can repair major differences, Palmiter says, and bring much-needed calm to households with teens. World News Related Content 7 Ways to Promote Your YouTube Channel If you have decided to create a YouTube channel, you need to find the best ways to promote it. After all, if it is not being promoted, people aren’t going to know about it, and you will be simply wasting your time because you won’t be making any money. The real reason why teenagers smoke is not addiction, it’s weight loss Shunning popular beliefs that people smoke cigarettes because they’re addicted to the nicotine, a recent study shows that among teens who are frequent smokers, 46% of girls and 30%of boys smoke to control their weight. Ramos MOS1 Max – When You’re Big, You Got to be Tough, Too With its name alone, you will know right away that this is one big smartphone and it is exactly that, with its screen measuring 6.44 inches. With its built in battery, you can expect that this can easily support your use for more than a day. But, is size everything there is to Ramos MOS1 Max or do you still have something to look out for in this particular handset? HOW TO BUILD MUSCLE AND STRENGTH WITHOUT LIFTING WEIGHTS Give yourself a break from all the heavy lifting and reap the muscle-building benefits of bodyweight exercise. How to Relieve Stress Through Music Did you know there are simple, easy ways to tackle your stress – without spending a fortune? One of the best ways to relieve stress is through music; and we’ve got the science to back it up. |
529